December 2023 was the first time I really really heard (experienced) God say these words to me. I may have connected with it the way I did because I heard it in the context of my birth month (May) and understood it to mean to NOT be discouraged from being all that I was birthed to be – all that God created me to be. This meaningful understanding reinforced my preference for the month of May 🙂 .
Prior to this experience, May was already my favorite of all the months (for obvious reasons). I always look forward to May – specifically my birthday, which happens to be the day of the month 😊. Slightly more than a decade ago, I started taking my birthday off all else but me to quietly celebrate. While a part of the celebration involved acknowledging God (giving Him thanks and praise), it wasn’t until 2020 that my birthday time-off became more about being still and knowing only God. Since then, I’ve spent my birthday weekend, week, or month exclusively with God. In this regard, this year was no different – I took time away from all else to just be with God Who is always with me. In alignment with what I believe was God’s say-so, I followed my dream to a place called Rehoboth. I didn’t know what to expect other than God (in whatever way, shape, or form He chose to show up). I was all kinds of excited, maybe the most excited I’ve ever been about this time of the year.
The Genesis Week …
It was a joyful Genesis Week … each evening gave way to a fresh, new Morning: an expression of God’s GOOD-ness unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. God did not only show up, He showed off! He made His Presence known in ways that I’m yet to fully process let alone comprehend. It was like finding a Wife (a Good Thing) … the Wife of my youth, of my beginning – my genesis. It was like being on a honeymoon … like Sweet Wine, a perfect mix of bridal joy and the joy of a new husband – dare I say, the JOY of The LORD. It was like when God’s work was beginning … before earth saw its first sunrise – Proverbs 8:22-30 (VOICE). What a Genesis Week it was! I wanted what came next to be an equally joyful Exodus (Deuteronomy 33:18A) … with praise in the air as I set sail with God (Isaiah 42:10 VOICE) and go out to sea – the place appointed for me: Zebulun, the perfect marriage gift 💖.
… two days later …
From what seemed like nowhere, a storm hit! What began as a moment of discontent progressively sky-rocketed into a Tsunami. I was tossed left, right, center … and then knocked down to size (little, small, weak). Excessive eating and entertainment (binge-ing) was way easier than seeing me weak/fail … easier than processing the discontent-now-turned-disappointment-in-myself with God through prayer. Amidst the storm, there were pockets of time when I’d hear Rabbani-Rabboni (the HolySpirit of Yeshua: my Divine LORD and Teacher) remind me of things He has told or taught me:
I read through the above teachings multiple times. In some moments, I’ll be up-lifted. In other moments, I’ll be down-casted. The latter was more prevalent. I was downcast mostly by the reality that I hadn’t learnt what I’ve been taught …
Also, the uplifting moments didn’t last long because I wasn’t sure if, like the binge-ing, I was merely using God’s teachings to excuse my way out of feeling and thinking all that I was feeling and thinking, most of which was about me still failing after all these years of being groomed by the Bridegroom and the Vinedresser (HusbandMan).
That this happened right after such a Genesis Week was discouraging to say the least. WHY am I like grass? Flaky … here (with God) when it’s easy and feels good, but fall short and blown away by the wind when the going with God gets harder?
O you afflicted city,storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in fair colors (in antimony to enhance their brilliance) and lay your foundation with sapphires.
Isaiah 54:11 (AMPC)
It didn’t matter how far tossed or blown-away I was, God was with me. Like a Help-Meet, His Word came to meet me … even at my lowest, and regardless of the fact that I was too fearful, weary, and weak to hold tight to Him. I wanted to … He was all I had going for me, the only One rooting for me, the only One in my corner (even I wasn’t in my corner) … YET I struggled to keep up (stay uplifted). With all the up, down, and downer … I couldn’t let myself be encouraged because it (the encouragement) seemed like a temporary band-aid or an interim work-around back to square one. I had been round this mountain too many times … from desire and excitement to distress … I was exhausted. Enabled by Grace, I’d go to God … sometimes, I’d just sit there with Him in silence. Other times, when words don’t fail me, I’d ask God for Help … for Mercy … for God to do for me what I was failing to do 👉 weather the storm with Him like Jesus did in Matthew 4:1-11 and at Gethsemane, by choosing God over and over and over again especially when it’s hard to do so.
… Today
My first waking thought was a reminder of a promise …
… as described in Hebrews 6:17, in His desire to show more convincingly the unchanging character of His purpose (Glorification by Mercy: Salvation), God guaranteed His promise to me with an oath – His Word:Psalm 34:19.
“BUT Beulah you will not be without Me“, these are the words I experienced God say to me earlier in the year (Jan 26). It was in response to me dreading what has now happened these past few weeks … me NOT wanting to see me fall short or fail when temptations come (Matthew 18:7). Recognizing that I was the weak-link in Our relationship … the weak spot of the City/House that He has made me to be for Him, I did NOT want to see how incapable and unwilling I can be WHEN push comes to shove, when the rubber meets the road, when “stuff gets real” … WHEN the storms of Life hit as they have this past few weeks.
In reading my notes from Jan 26, not only did I experience God teaching, I also experienced a spark that ignited me to be as God presents His PRESENCE to me. TODAY, as I hear God’s Voice (Hebrews 3:7-8), I don’t stand aloof from the Living God – Hebrews 3:12 (AMPC). Instead, I go with the flow of the HolySpirit by sharing (saying out loud) what God has come to teach… that I may hear it again, and maybe someone else in a similar boat might hear it too – Hebrews 3:13 (AMPC).
I AM The LORD your God, Who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar … I can make the oceans roil with storm and roll with great waves … I teach you how to talk, word by word, and I personally watch over you …
Isaiah 51:15 (AMP, VCE) 16(MSG)
(1)The LORD Who gives you the bread of adversity and water of affliction (Isaiah 30:20A)is also The LORD Who delivers you from them all(Psalm 34:19). He is your Teacher – the very same One Who won’t hide Himself from you (Isaiah 30:20B), the One your eyes must constantly behold as He guides you (Isaiah 30:21) by instructing and teaching you along the best pathway for your life with His watchful eye upon you (Psalm 32:8). Indeed, He is the LIFE of (A) The Bread of Life (John 6:35), (B) the Rivers of Living Water (John 7:38), and (C) the Tree of Life in the Garden of Delight (Eden).
Are we to receive only good at the Hand of God and not also adversity, trouble, or evil (hardship)?
Job 2:10B (CJB, AMPC, NKJV, NIV, KJV)
In the same way that the Tree of Life and the Tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil Hardship are good, so too is what comes from The LORD, your God, Who is GOOD. Eat that which He gives you even when it is hard to swallow … it is good.
(2)Do NOT be disMAYed– do NOT be contrary to the good soil that God created you to be. In the same manner that the good soil clings to a sown seed, take firm hold of God’s instruction … His teaching: Wisdom, the Wife (Good Thing) that you have found in God. Do NOT let Her go (Proverbs 4:13). Do NOT let go (Proverbs 3:3).
Do NOT be disMAYed … Do NOT be discouraged …Do NOT be defeated. Defeat results in letting go, and is what the enemy wants in order
(A) to get you to let go of God’s Hand (Isaiah 41:10,13) so that you do not take root and as such not be the evidence of what God sows … the evidence of Jezreel (Hosea 2:21-22), OR
(B) to get you to not see God’s Hand (1 Kings 18:41-46) so that you’re not encouraged to run and get to Jezreel – the place of your appointment.
He knows that being discouraged leads to being defeated, which then leads to being disappointed (not at your place of appointment), and ultimately being disMAYed (contrary to who God created, birthed, called, and appointed you to be i.e fruitfully good) …do NOT be disappointed(lost) in yourself.
(3)Yes, you are the weak link … a weakling,suffer it to be so for now because it is the fitting way for both you and the HolySpirit to fulfill the righteousness of God, together (SOS 2:15 TPT) … as one(2 Corinthians 12:9)– His Strength (Love for God) is made perfect (fulfilled, complete) and shows itself most effective in your weakness. Let it be so for nowby trusting in the Wisdom of God’s choice (His choice of finding a Wife in you). Permit it to be so for nowby resting on the promise of God’s election of you(Ephesians 1:4). An election made in spite of the intel He had on you even before the foundation of the world, when the Lamb was slain … an election made in spite of you and all because of Him.The promise of God’s election of you is MERCY… the promise of His election of you is that He will do it for you.
(4) Yes, you’re like grass. God is NOT unaware of this(Isaiah 40:7)YET He saysbe like little children– they are reliably (always relying on and) in need of their guardian i.e. their parent, teacher, neighbor, or custodian … they don’t hesitate to speak, say something, or even cry out loud when they need help … they always need help. As such, they are always with (in the presence of) their guardian.
In saying be like little children, God is saying be reliably in need of God: your Heavenly Father, your Teacher, your Neighbor (Proverbs 27:10) – the Friend Who is closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24B) … even the brother who was born for adversity or times of trouble (Proverbs 17:17B).
In saying be like little children, God is sayingalways need God… be trusting of Him and His care … be lowly – humble yourself (1 Peter 5:6-7) … cry out loud – God will be gracious to you at the sound of your cry (Isaiah 30:19) … be loving (giving of God), even to yourself … be forgiving, even to yourself …cleave to God(Matthew 18:6A) … be present (or represented) before Him, in His PRESENCE (His Name), looking up on His Face (Matthew 18:10B) and seeking His Strength always. In other words,be with Godas He is with you: ALWAYS … and all the way.
Seek The LORD and His Strength … seek His Face
1 Chronicles 16:11
… seek to be in His PRESENCE continually.
(5) The HolySpirit’s loyalty and devotion to God (The Father) is your only Hope (certainty) of Salvation.
This HOPE is NOT a disappointing fantasybecause we can now experience the endless Love of God cascading into our hearts through the HolySpirit Who lives in us.
Romans 5:5 (TPT)
The Strength of the HolySpirit’s Love for God (The Father) is your blessed assurance of Salvation … your saving Grace … your only certainty (Hope) of Salvation in every moment. Always acknowledge Him (in all your ways) …do NOT look around you in terror and be disMAYed– Isaiah 41:10 (AMPC). Instead, seek God continually and your eyes will behold your Teacher … cling to Him as He leads you to your place of appointment in the Kingdom of God. It is The Father’s good pleasure to give you His Kingdom – you belong there. (Mark 10:14, Luke 18:16). He destined, devised, and decreed it before the ages to bring (lift) you into His Glory (1 Corinthians 2:7). As such,this Exodus will happen… NOT by your own might, power, understanding, or desire for God, BUT (and only) by His Merciful Spirit. Seek Him continually … His Strength (Grace, Love for God) is sufficient.
… I will keep My good promise to you, causing you to return to this place. For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you – thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you an expected end. Call to Me(persistently, like little children)… Come and pray to Me(persistently, like little children)… I will be found by you. I will make sure you won’t be disappointed … I will release you from captivity and gather you from all the nations and places to which I have driven you. I will bring you back to the place from which I caused you to be carried captive,you can count on it, says The LORD.
Jeremiah 29:10B-14 (AMPC, MSG)
Rivers in the Desert 